Closure comes at ones own pace.

3 min readAug 3, 2022

TMS! — you are now my forever friend. This is the end of my series in regards to Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation at the world renowned Mayo Clinic — Saint Mary’s Hospital, Rochester Minnesota. At the end here, of my series of explanations, I have included links to the work that Dr. Simon Kung has done and written about.

I started this journey after my 52nd birthday. I am so happy to report I have been deemed in full remission of my depression and C-PTSD symptoms. I will see Dr. Kung in six months and literally am so proud of myself for how far I have come — how brave I was and am for completing this initial process.

I will forever be grateful to this team of professionals, right down to the staff that checked me in and saw me daily for 8 weeks! The witness the transformation of people everyday that come to the clinic — yet I feel like I have left my mark on them just like they all have on me.

I emerged from the ashes like a phoenix and can honestly say I am feeling pretty damn good, not fully healed or without slight headaches. But, I have my “feels” back! I experience highs and lows and everything in between. It has been years since I have cried, laughed so hard or experienced anything other than a “flat affect” — that I surprise myself everyday.

I feel like I live in my own skin — inside this body like I have not experienced since probably grade school. I smile and cry more easily. I think things through afterwards and do not have an overwhelming sense of sadness. I am calmer, and stronger and feel safe with myself and with others.

It’s kind of like trying out a new haircut. You walk out the door feeling a bit scared because you are trying something new. Yet, on the other hand you can’t wait the show your friends? Yes! that is a bit like how I feel right now.

Like the caterpillar in me lying dormant for all these years… has finally emerged into a beautifully stable butterfly. Gosh — I hope it sticks! I will follow up with the doctor in six months. I can undergo more treatments of TMS in the future, but for the first time in I don’t know how long, I am looking forward to winter time — no dread of the SAD’s or melancholy that comes and slumps me down in about February — but I will let my readers know!

here are some photos of my transformation….